Kodiak
“Dude, why does it take you so fucking long to pack?” BJ adjusts his manbun as he lopes across my room and throws himself into my computer chair. He reclines as far as he can and the back rest groans in protest. Supine is basically BJ’s favorite position to be in when he isn’t on the ice or in a class, or studying, that latter of which I have never, ever seen him do. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It just means I’ve yet to witness it over the past three years.
“I don’t want to forget anything.” I also have to pack everything in specific order. And that’s after I’ve folded it all, organized it, and checked it off on my list, then double check it one more time before I put it in my bag.
BJ pushes the chair away from my desk and uses his foot to spin himself around. He’s six-two and lanky as hell, so he nearly kicks over my garbage can in the process. On his next rotation he asks, “You think our parents will pull one of their last-minute getaways this year?”
I shrug. “Dunno. It’s a possibility.”
In the past I avoided all the events that included the Waters family. Because I’d been in love with my best friend’s little sister and fucked her up pretty good when we were kids. I hadn’t wanted to do any more damage, so I stayed away.
Until this year.
I made Lavender’s first two months of college miserable. And myself. Now we’re dating. Sometimes life is fucking weird.
BJ rolls the chair back and props one elbow on my desk. “It’s gonna be a little different this year, huh?”
“How do you mean?” I refold one of my t-shirts because it’s not lying flat.
“You won’t be hiding the whole break, avoiding Lavender anymore.”
I don’t try to argue with him. He’s not wrong. That’s exactly what I used to do during the holidays when our families got together. I always had an excuse to get out of dinners and group events. And for whatever reason, my parents always let me.
Now all I want is to hang out at the Waters’ place on Lake Geneva. Although it’s a lot more complicated since my best friend is also my girlfriend’s brother. So splitting my time between them is going to be a challenge. Although, Mav might be occupied since he’s been seeing some girl on the sly that none of us has met. I’m not sure why he feels the need to keep her a secret, not that it matters. The four-week limit has almost been reached, which means he’ll be axing her soon enough.
BJ makes a face as he peels his hands off the arm rests and looks at his palms. “Why is this sticky?” He keeps rubbing over the same spot with his thumb.
“I don’t know, but if bothers you there are other places you can sit, like the living room, or your own bedroom.” I don’t look at him, and I hope like hell my face doesn’t turn red.
I know exactly why the arms of my chair are sticky. I’ve been meaning to get out the rubbing alcohol, because that usually works pretty well when it comes to getting rid of the tape residue.
“You’re moody,” BJ observes. “Stressing over the fact that you and Lavender are going to have to get creative about alone time if our parents decide not to go away?”
“Why are you riding my ass so hard right now?” I gripe. He’s not wrong.
“Because I can. And because I’m honestly looking forward to watching you dance around Alex now that you’re dating his only daughter.”
I shoot a glare his way. “Thanks man, I appreciate the added layer of anxiety.”
“Anytime.” BJ does another spin in my chair. This time he does manage to kick my garbage can over, causing the contents to scatter on the floor.
“Dude.”
BJ shrugs. “Sorry, man. I figured it’d be empty since you never let anything collect in there for more than half an hour.”
Again. He’s not wrong.
But Lavender left less than an hour ago so she, too, could pack for Christmas break.
BJ bends to sweep the debris back into the garbage can. If this was his room, it would be full of food wrappers. And probably tissues.
Mine is not full of food wrappers because I never, ever eat in my room. And if I drink anything in here, it’s water. Occasionally, when I’m studying and I need to stay alert, I’ll make an exception and drink a coffee, but it has to be black and I always use a coaster.
“I’m not touching your jizz rags,” BJ tells me.
“They’re not jizz rags, they’re antibacterial wipes.” I usually take care of myself in the shower in the morning, and that’s only on the rare nights Lavender and I don’t sleep together. Most of the time I go to bed and wake up to Lavender. That also means I end and start most days with sex. And Lavender takes birth control all the time, so she never has a period and we don’t have to take any days off unless she needs a break, and that’s rare.
“What the hell is this?” He picks up a multicolored crumpled up ball and rolls it between his fingers. “Why do you have duct tape with candy canes on it?”
“I, uh, I had a project and I couldn’t find the regular stuff.”
BJ narrows his eyes at me and sniffs the tape. “Does it smell like peppermint?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Why is your face turning red?”
“It’s not.”
“But it is. You’re the color of a beet. Why would you be embarrassed about your mint scented candy cane duct tape?”
“I’m not embarrassed.” I realize I’ve been refolding the same pair of boxer shorts over and over again. I set them on the bed and move on to my socks.
“Dude.” BJ pushes out of the computer chair, which rolls back and hits my desk, causing my monitor to shake.
I look over my shoulder and find him standing right beside me. He grabs my wrist and yanks my arm up. For being a lanky dude, he’s pretty strong, and he’s caught me off guard. I’m wearing a t-shirt, so my arms are exposed.
His eyes are wide and they bounce from my face—which I’m sure is as red as he says it is, especially with the way I’ve started to spontaneously sweat—to my wrist. He’s gripping my forearm, so he has a great view of the missing strip of hair.
“You kinky fucker. Lavender duct tapes you to that chair, doesn’t she?” He thumbs over his shoulder at my computer chair, his grin verging on maniacal. He grabs me by the shoulder. “Fuck man. I’m so proud of her. My cousin has bigger balls than any guy I know. And that shows some real personal growth on your part, Kody, giving up control for your woman. There’s hope for you yet, you rigid sonofabitch.”
“That isn’t—” I want to lie my way out of it, but he gives me a knowing look.
“Don’t even try to deny it. The evidence and your expression tell me everything I need to know.” He gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe is with me. It’s good, man. You and Lav are in tune with each other.” He makes a wave motion with his free hand. “She’s had some serious trauma that’s made her feel powerless in the past and you spent a lot of time being a giant dick because you believed you were toxic for her. This way she gets to take control and you get to do your penance and everyone gets what they need. Very symbiotic.”
“Are you taking psychology or something this semester?”
“Or something. It’s all about being perceptive and in tune with the people around you. We’ve all been waiting for this for years. Well, we haven’t been waiting for Lavender to duct tape you to your computer chair, but we’ve been waiting for you to figure things out.” He heaves a sigh. “Anyway, I’m gonna let you finish packing. Who’s driving with who up to Lake Geneva, anyway?”
I shrug. Usually I’d drive with Mav, but he’s not going to Lake Geneva until tomorrow night because he’s got stuff to take care of. I have a feeling it has to do with whoever he’s been seeing, but he’s been tight lipped about that so I can’t know for sure.
* * *
Lavender ends up driving up to Lake Geneva with Lovey and Lacey instead of with me, so I don’t have a chance to tell her that BJ knows about the duct tape and what we do with it. I’d like to get her alone before BJ does, because as much as he’s said my secret is safe with him, I seriously doubt that he’s going to keep his mouth shut with Lavender. And I don’t want to say anything over text message because the last thing I need is someone accidentally seeing the message and more people finding out.
Four hours later my clothes are sorted into piles in the laundry room, I’ve unpacked all my things and stuffed my face with all of my mom’s home cooking and as many cookies as she’ll allow while she asks me all kinds of questions about school and hockey and how things are going with Lavender.
“You’re being safe, right?”
“Yes, Mom, we’re being safe.” I shovel another cookie into my mouth and push my chair back from the island.
She fiddles with the end of her long braid. “You two have such bright futures ahead of you. And you’re still so young—”
“We’re one-hundred percent being safe. And dad already had this conversation with me two seconds after I walked in the door.” He also left a box of condoms on my dresser in my bedroom. Or maybe it was my mom. Either way, it’s both mortifying and thoughtful. I feel kinda bad for Aspen, because she’s the only other girl in this family and I can only imagine how much more vigilant they’re going to be with her.
“I know it’s not a comfortable conversation, but it’s an important one.”
“I know, mom.” I try not to get too frustrated at their constant reminders. They’re not wrong about Lavender and I being young. And next year I’m probably going to be playing in the NHL and Lavender will still be in college. A surprise baby would not be awesome. Not when I’ll be traveling all over the country, and also, Alex would murder me. I just got Lavender back, I don’t want to lose her again. So I’ll deal with birth control conversations.
“Good.” She taps the edge of the counter. “I know you just got home, and you probably want to spend time with your friends, but your dad and I have a favor to ask.”
“What kind of favor?”
“With you home for the holidays for the next few weeks we thought it might be a nice opportunity for you to have some time with your brother and sister.”
I can feel my brows pulling into a furrow. There’s a significant age gap between me and my siblings. Which is ironic since I was an accident and they tried for a really long time for Dakota. Then two years later Aspen came along.
“Uh, okay?”
“We’ll only be gone for a few days.”
“Wait. What? Gone for a few days?”
“We’re flying out tomorrow morning. Obviously it’s a last minute thing.” She wrings her hands. “We figured that you’d be able to handle looking after your brother and sister for a few days.”
“What about Colleen?” She’s been the nanny for my brother and sister for years. My mom works part time and mostly from home, although she does go into the aquarium once a week. She’s a researcher and has her doctorate in aquatic animal reproduction. It’s a weird thing to have a doctorate in, and very specific, but apparently it’s a pretty important job.
“We sent her and her family to Cabo for two weeks as a Christmas gift.”
“Oh. Who’s all going?”
“The usual group, Your dad and I, the Waters, Ballistics, Buttersons, Romeros, Westinghouses, Winslows and Kingstons.”
“You’re all going? Who’s taking care of all the Kingston kids?”
“King’s mother is watching them.”
“Right. Okay. Sure. I can totally handle taking care of Aspen and Dakota for a few days.” They’re basically teenagers and all they want to do is be left alone.
And if all of the parents are away on vacation that means Lavender can come stay here, or we can stay at her parents. Either way, it means lots of unsupervised time.
Less than half an hour later the group chat we have going blows up with chatter about who’s throwing the party and what time it starts. Normally it would be Maverick pushing to invite half the universe, but he’s been super lowkey lately. I tell the group that I’m watching Dakota and Aspen. They’re only twelve and fourteen, so I won’t leave them alone overnight just for a sake of a party and honestly, I hate the fucking parties anyway.
I only used to go because I’d hoped Lavender would be there.
Now she’s mine, so the parties are pointless.
I suggest that we do something chill and everyone can come over here and watch movies and hang out or whatever. Lovey and Lacey are all over it and want us to do our gift exchange. Mostly, we all buy a gift card or a bottle of booze, wrap them up and steal them from each other when our number is called, and then consume the booze. Although, I need to be responsible because of my brother and sister.
By noon, my house is full of our friends.
We take Dakota and Aspen tobogganing. When we get back Lavender heads for the kitchen to make hot chocolate. I picked up a whole bunch of that Swiss Miss Lucky Charms stuff for her when I saw it at the grocery store last week.
“I need to talk to you about something.” I lean against the counter, watching her warn the milk in the double boiler. She refuses to microwave it, or use water. Instead, we get the lactose free stuff so she doesn’t end up with stomach cramps.
“What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. No. Sort of.”
“Did something happen?”
“It’s nothing bad.”
“Then why are you kneading the back of your neck like you’re trying to make bread with it?” she asks.
I drop my hand, but before I can say anything, Aspen and Dakota come running into the kitchen, noses still red, looking for hot chocolate and snacks.
I don’t have a chance to pull her aside again because Quinn comes over with his younger sisters, Celeste and Heather, and Lavender, Lovey and Lacey decide they want to make some kind of Christmas craft.
It isn’t until way later, when Dakota and Aspen are in bed that we finally pour some drinks and settle around the media room. The coffee table is full of wrapped gifts. One in particular stands out among the rest. It’s a Lucky Charms box with a bow on top.
Lavender drops down on the couch beside me, but before she can snuggle up to me, Mav shoves his way between us. He arrived a couple of hours ago, looking like he’s way short on sleep. He’s been pounding the beers pretty steadily and I’m pretty sure he’s already halfway to hammered. I’m assuming he broke things off with the girl of the month and she didn’t take it all that well.
“Guess we already know which present is for you, huh?” Mav says to Lavender.
He stretches his arms along the back of the couch. He smells like he needs a shower.
“Ugh! You stink!”
Lavender tries to get away from his armpit, but he puts her in a headlock.
“Oh my god! Where the hell have you been and why are you so gross?”
He turns his head toward me and sniffs his own pit, then wrinkles his nose. “I’m a little ripe, huh?”
“A little? You smell like an old running shoe!”
He releases her from the headlock, and she hops up off the couch and drops onto the floor between my legs. I’m sort of ready for the night to be done with so I can get some time alone with Lavender.
“You all right, man?” I ask Mav as Lovey goes around the room and everyone pulls a slip of paper from the hat she’s holding.
“Yeah. Just a long night.” He rubs his jaw and sighs.
He looks more than exhausted. He looks beat down.
Lovey reaches us and we all pull numbers. Lavender gets #1 and I #11. Mav picks his number and he gets #12, putting him last.
“Ah, man, everyone can steal my gift.” Lavender grabs the box of Lucky Charms and hugs it to her chest. I give her shoulder a squeeze.
“Don’t worry, babe, I’ll get it back for you at the end.”
Mav coughs something that sounds a lot like whipped into his beer bottle.
For the next half hour everyone steals the box of cereal and because Mav is clearly in some kind of mood, he steals it from me when I steal it back for Lavender.
“Whatever. I have like six containers of cereal marshmallows at home.”
“That’s what you think.” Mav waggles his brows.
Lavender’s eyes go wide, and then narrow. “There’s no way you know where I hide them, but nice try.”
Mav opens the box of cereal and shoves his hand in, but when he pulls it out it’s full of packing peanuts. He frowns and turns the box upside down, peanuts litter the floor and something hits it with a thud. He bends to grab it, before Lavender even has a chance to react.
“What the hell? Holiday duct tape? And it’s scented?”
He glances from the gingerbread men printed tape to Lavender. Her eyes are wide and slightly horrified, and her face is turning a telling shade of red. Lavender is good at a lot of things, but maintaining a poker face is not one of them. She looks at me, the question what the fuck written all over her face.
“Is this some kind of inside joke?” Mav looks from Lavender to me and back again. He sucks his teeth. “You know what. I feel like it’s better if I don’t know.”
“Who is this even from?” Lavender asks.
No one fesses up, even though I know it had to be BJ. I’m totally going to kick his ass for this. Like I need Mav knowing that kind of shit.
It’s another half hour before Lavender finally manages to corner me. In the bathroom of all places. “That was not funny! At all!” She whisper-shrieks. “Like I want my brothers and all of our friends to know that I duct tape you to furniture and ride you!” She scrubs a hand over her face. “Oh my God. Saying it aloud makes it that much worse. What is wrong with us?”
I grab her by the shoulders. “Babe, take a breath.”
“That really wasn’t funny.”
“I know.” Actually, it kind of is funny, but I don’t want to make her angrier, or worried that everyone is going to suddenly figure out what we do with the duct tape.
She bites her lip. “Are we really fucked up? Like is it really weird that I like to do that and that you like it when I do that to you?”
“I don’t know if it’s weird or fucked up, but there’s a whole subsect of people who like to dress in black leather and wear ball gags and be dominated, so I’m going to go ahead and say that duct tape and computer chairs is pretty tame in comparison.”
She nods and her palms smooth over my chest, blowing out a breath. “Our friends can’t know, though. Everyone is too interconnected and eventually someone will spill all the beans.”
“About that.” Now it’s my turn to be cagey.
Her eyes go wide again. “Did you tell someone?”
“No. I would never do that. But BJ kind of figured it out. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you today.”
“When did he find out? How did he find out?” She’s no longer whispering.
“This morning. When I was packing up to come home.” I lift my arm and show her where the patch of hair is missing off my forearm. “He kicked over my trash can and found the balled-up tape, and the armrests were sticky, and he saw my forearms and figured it out.”
“Oh my God.” She grabs my wrist and inspects it. “I had no idea I was ripping out your freaking arm hair. What did he say? He won’t tell Mav, will he?”
I shake my head. “No. He promised to keep his mouth shut, but obviously he’s going to have some fun with this based on the gift exchange.”
She blows out another breath and continues to inspect my wrist. “Do you think maybe I should use something other than tape? Maybe I need to learn how to tie knots?”
“Maybe.” My swallow is audible and my reaction below the waist to that idea becomes ridiculously obvious.
Lavender pokes at the crotch of my pants. “That looks more like a yes than a maybe.”
“I’m game for whatever you are.”
“Quickie in the bathroom?” Her beautiful, wide eyed gaze meets mine. It’s full of challenge.
“Hell to the fuck yeah.” Normally I’m not a sex in the bathroom kind of guy because bathrooms are usually disgusting, but this is the bathroom no one usually uses, so I feel okay about it. Also, we don’t have enough time to go upstairs and I don’t want to risk running into anyone and having to wait until everyone is ready to pass out before I can get inside my girlfriend.
She basically jumps into my arms and wraps her legs around my waist. Our mouths connect and I spin around, setting her on the vanity.
She’s wearing tights and a super long shirt, so it’s just a matter of yanking one of her legs free, while she unbuckles my belt and frees me from my boxers.
“Shit Lavender,” I groan when she wraps her hand around me and strokes down the length.
“Touch me.” She spreads her legs wide and I brush my thumb over her clit, then ease a single finger inside.
“So warm,” I murmur.
“So soft,” she strokes me again. “And hard.” And squeezes.
“I’m going to eat you later.” I can smell her, and it makes my mouth water. The taste of her is kind of an addiction. I think about going down on her pretty much every day, and most days I follow through on that thought. Once I went four days without, just to see if I could handle the deprivation, and when I finally went down on her again I nearly gave her vagina beard burn, and I was clean shaven, so usually it’s an every other day thing.
“And I’m going to blow you, after I figure out how to tie you to your computer chair.”
“I can’t fucking wait,” I groan.
She pushes my hand out of the way and pulls me forward by my cock. “Can you get in me now, please?”
“Absolutely. Whatever you want, you can have.”
“You inside me would be great.”
I run the head over her clit and between her lips. When I reach her entrance I ease inside, watching the head disappear, and then the shaft, inch by inch. I want her to come, but it’s a lot to ask of a quickie in a bathroom.
Still, I try.
And I’m pleasantly surprised when I feel her clench around me just before I have to pull out. It would be rude to come inside her when we have to go hang out with friends after this. She wraps her hand around my length, and I cover her fist with mine, guiding her strokes as I unload in the sink.
“I came,” she whispers.
“I know. I felt it.”
Lavender’s eyes dart around, taking in the black walls and grey accents. “We had sex in your parent’s powder room.”
“We did.” I help her back into her tights.
“We’re going to have sex in your bedroom later.” She tucks me back into my boxers and carefully zips my pants.
I shake my head. “In my bedroom it won’t be sex.”
She tips her head. “What will it be, then?”
“Me loving you, and you loving me. The way soul mates do.”
It’s how it always is with Lavender.
Conventional. Unconventional. Bathrooms. Knots.
Scented holiday duct tape.
It doesn’t matter how.
It’s that it’s her.
Because it’s always been her.
And it will always be her.
